Are You Dealing With Disappointment In Your Church Leaders?
It is challenging to learn our church leaders are flawed and mere humans.
God’s word tells us,” In fear of the Lord there is strong confidence”(Proverbs 14:26).
The scriptures also tell us that our inner confidence and trust should be in God. We must understand never to have more confidence in man than God. Yet, this does not make it any easier when those we respect disappoint us. When Church leaders reveal their human qualities, it disillusions us.
Why? Because we have come to trust and respect them. But, all is not lost; there is hope.
We are bombarded daily with messages on how to deal with disappointment or how to build confidence. Online, there are thousands of sites offering advice on how to dress, speak, and how we should feel.
However, we need to understand these suggestions are no solutions to the problems we face. Real confidence comes from the Lord. The Creator and sustainer of the world and everything in it. We should look to God for our needs, using our faith and trust in God alone.
You are probably thinking, “I have faith.” But is your faith in God strong enough to pass over the burden you carry or to rebuild your confidence in a leader who has disappointed you or caused your trust to wane?
Prayer and guidance are the best solutions. Why? Because God can comfort and heal your disappointment if you trust Him. God will cure the hurt you are feeling. God must judge of others, not you. He is fair and just without human emotion. God’s character, is anchored in love, and forgiveness, will guide you.
Unlike us, God is faithful, THE source of mercy, and grace from those who disappoint or disillusion us.
People Will Disappoint Us
People disappoint us, but God has promised never to disappoint or forsake us if we believe and trust him. He promises to be present and ready to help with the smallest of our concerns and disappointments. God will never judge our shortcomings the same as friends, family, and Church leaders. He understands our experiences and life difficulties, yet God does not judge us when we fail to live up to his expectations.
Look to the Lord for everything you need, no matter how simple or silly you feel the need maybe. God is your Provider. We should seek His assistance in financial need, healing, and every facet of our lives. He wants to be the primary source of everything we need! Even our disappointments.
Now, you may ask, “How do I seek God’s help?”
Seek God’s help through reading the Bible, the word of God. It is through scripture God speaks to us. Before making any decisions, You should seek God in everything you do. By keeping God first, you will be to crown for your efforts and success.
Proverbs 3:6 tells us, seek God not only in healing and finances but in our hurts and disappointments, to reach out in prayer to our Lord and Savior.
From my own experiences, I have come to understand how disappointment in Church leaders can bring about disillusion and trust.
Having experienced both disillusionment and trust, I have learned to respect and accept church leaders as human. Capable of the same prejudices and shortcomings as me. So you can imagine my disappointment when asked by a well-respected church leader to join him in hatred against a denomination because of how they chose to worship.
The church leader informed me he would not allow the Church of teachings in my class syllabus to be approved unless I agreed with him about the Living Church of God. I resisted his scare tactics, feeling the leader was demanding I believe, and think as he did about the Living Church of God.
So, I chose to cancel the class, refusing to remove the links my syllabus, as he had suggested. Because my research was scriptural, contextual, and God’s word. My Church leader was the problem.
Greatly disappointed after the brief encounter with a man I had come to respect and admire left me with a decision that required much thought. So when I say, “Place God first in everything you do, even in choosing where you worship,” Remember, leaders of the Church are human with human frailties and prejudices, the same as the world.
When you encounter leaders with shortcomings, prayer and forgiveness are God’s tools to overcome disillusionment and disappointment. You must not allow hurt to overwhelm you or give up on serving God. Take time away from the situation to pray and seek God, asking that your heart be renewed to forgiveness. Also, ask God to show you if there is anything you did to cause the misunderstanding and be willing to accept the answer if the issue is with YOU!
Three Ways to Overcome Disappointment
Sometimes it is best to distance yourself from the situation and the person. Why? These three reasons list below will assist you in understanding:
1. Distance and time help with the healing process and allow you time to accept and understand what you have experienced.
2. The time taken will enable you to overcome disappointment and become comfortable with the realization that church leaders have human frailties, and prejudices. Allowing you to accept the shortcomings through prayer and fasting.
After spending time with God in prayer and fasting He will provide you the strength to overcome the hurt and disappointment. Enabling you to receive the situation and willingness to understand the case and person or persons involved. Once you have identified the problem, you can begin the healing process.
Note: I firmly advise you not to “Church Hop”! Why? Because the problem is not with the entire Church, the problem may lie with the leader (s) and their inhumanity, not the congregation. If you need time to process what has occurred, Take It!
3. Use your disappointment to learn and grow! Applaud your efforts, for the risk of allowing yourself to become vulnerable to hurt. Turn your frustration into an opportunity to overcome the obstacle, to regain confidence, understanding, and acceptance, that no one is without faults or prejudices, even You!
As Christins, the Bible is clear on the “forgiveness of those who have wronged or disappointed us.” Remember, it is not the person whose peace we are responsible for, but it is our unity of mind we are accountable to achieve, then forgiveness and love will follow.
I wish I could say I fully accomplished step 3. I have yet to complete this problematic step and still working on regaining trust and confidence in church leaders. Nevertheless, I have come to respect my former church leader, understanding and accepting him as only human.
Remember, God will never leave you (Hebrew 13:5 KJV), and your confidence will return.